10/31/2004

I'm Gambling On America's Future

Being a "social" gambler (whatever the hell that means), I always find it interesting what odds Vegas has for non-sport events and what not (the sporting odds are pretty interesting too). The only thing they left out is a line on Florida screwing this whole election up.

Courtesy of americasline.com.

2004 PRESIDENTIAL ODDS

October 31 , 2004

By BENJAMIN ECKSTEIN, President & DAVID SCOTT, Senior Analyst
Americasline.com

ODDS TO WIN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

ODDS TO BE ELECTED
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IN 2004

Name Party Title Odds
*George W. Bush (R) President -120
John Kerry (D) Massachusetts Senator EVEN

ODDS ON POPULAR AND ELECTORAL VOTE RESULTS

Bush wins popular vote and electoral vote 4/5
Bush wins popular vote, Kerry wins electoral vote 8/1
Kerry wins popular vote and electoral vote EVEN
Kerry wins popular vote, Bush wins electoral vote 20/1

ODDS OF AN ELECTORAL VOTE TIE

Bush and Kerry each get 269 electoral votes 20/1

HOW MANY STATES WILL BUSH CARRY

over 29 1/2 -110
under 29 1/2 -110

JOHN KERRY STATES WON VS

TOTAL POINTS BY CARMELO ANTHONY

(Tuesday, November 2 game)

John Kerry + 2 1/2 -115
Carmelo Anthony -2 1/2 -115

GEORGE BUSH STATES WON VS

TOTAL POINTS BY KOBE BRYANT

(Tuesday, November 2 game)

George Bush +1 1/2 -115
Kobe Bryant -1 1/2 -115


*I hope Vegas is wrong but, unfortunately, they usually aren't.

If you are registered to vote and you don't want Bush Jr., please get your ass out there and vote Tuesday--I've got a 'hundy' on it.

10/30/2004

Don't Support Troop Supporters!

As I drove through Fresno's A #1 intersection Blackstone and Shaw, (this is where groups in Fresno tend to come out and protest or support things), I saw a group of "supporters". They were called Republican women for something.

They had signs with things like "Honk if you support our troops". I can't stand that. Republicans always pull that statement out.

WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T SUPPORT OUR TROOPS?

They always infer that they are the ones that support our troops and if you don't support the war, you don't support our troops. Even a pacifist supports the troops. It's almost slanderous.

The real signs they should be holding is "Honk if you support the war". A war protestor is actually fighting for the troops to come home alive, ya dipshit's. Somebody who is pro war is actually "supporting" more troops to die....HELLOOOO???

10/24/2004

Ashlee Simpson Can't Even Lip-Sync!

This is just too funny to pass up. Did you catch Saturday Night Live last weekend? If not (or maybe you just feel asleep like me) you missed a once in a season (or more) moment.

Ashlee (Yes, that's how she spells Ashley) Simpson, the SNL musical guest (I use the term musical loosely) totally screwed-up her second song (by the way, she was obviously lip-synching on her first song). Either her band started playing a song that surprised her or the lip-sync track was off and played the first song, but she became a deer in the headlights and just walked (actually she did a "ho-down") off stage.

I think SNL is going to start making sure they don't book un-professionals anymore.

Funny-ass shit. Click the link below to see it!

Simpson Screw-up

AUDIBLE FLUX COMES THROUGH FOR U!

The sad thing is she blames her band in the end. They were the only ones being professional and going on with the show. "Ashlee" just slinked away.

10/22/2004

I Am Very Talented...at video games



It’s the first, of what will likely be many, “I have writer’s block, even though there is no such thing, post”.

This will be the official picture for these posts. It represents how I can’t think of anything good to write about so I am going to just post this lame picture.

I actually don’t think writer’s block exists. “Writer’s block” really just breaks down like this:
• The story/idea you are working simply sucks and you should just move on (I MOVE ON A LOT!)
• You haven’t researched your idea enough…you just haven’t worked hard enough (BIG LAZY-ASS MO-FO).
• Being too much of a perfectionist. (WHAT’S A PErFECTtIONST?)
• Plain have no talent (YO!).

Current reason for the lack of a new post falls under the “lazy” category. I’ve been working to much this week and I decided to use what little down time I had to play video games…like so many other great “talents”.

10/14/2004

Audible Flux Expands For Lame Reasons!

I have decided (given the deluge of non-existent emails asking me to give more of my thoughts on sports) to start a sports blog.

Being a big sports fan, it would only seem logical I would be writing more stuff about sports on Audible Flux. But I realize not everybody wants to read about sports stuff (not that anybody gives a crap about reading most of the regular stuff on here), so I have tried to keep sports thoughts to a minimum.

Well now (regardless of the Audible Flux reader apathy) I have a second blog to show off my geek-boy writing. Be on the look out for heavy coverage of all the big influential and relevant leagues like the NHL, USFL, Indoor Soccer League, XFL and Fresno Wiffleball League.

Come check it out at SportsFlux!

10/11/2004

Know How To Make A White Russian?




If you like the movie The Big Lebowski, what the hell is wrong with you? You should LOVE The Big Lebowski!

Do you love drinking as well? Here is the game for you! But be careful, if you play this game like it tells you to, YOU MAY DIE!

The beginning of the movie Entire cup or beer
Dude smokes pot 2 drinks
Walter mentions Vietnam 1 drink
Donny says dude 1 drink
Someone bowls a strike 2 drinks
You see George Bush 5 drinks
Every time Dude drinks a White Russian 1 drink
Every time the Dude wears Jellies 2 drinks
Every time a weapon is in the film 1 drink
Every time Walter says Shomer Shabbas 1 drink
The Dude rides in a car (not driving) 1 drink
Every time Flea is in the picture 1 drink
Song on soundtrack starts 1 drink
Every time the dude puts on sunglasses 1 drink
Everytime someone says gold bricker 2 drinks
End of movie Finish what is left

(Inventors: Matt, TJ, Dan, Andrew, Jared FSU Deviney Hall 2000-2001)

Please let AUDIBLE FLUX know if you actually have played this game and what hospital you were taken to.

10/08/2004

Under The Influence




Yes I see that the document has been altered (the date of birth is filled out wrong) but I swear it's from a legit source (insert Nightline joke here). Okay, my cousin sent it to me. But trust me, he is a honest guy! (he is also single ladies!)

I'm a forgiving person so I can overlook this little Bush screw-up. I mean G.W. was in Kenneebunkport for crying out loud. That is one big-ass party town! Everybody would drink and drive around there, it's just what ya did.

10/06/2004

SHE'S A MAGIC MOUNTAIN!

AUDIBLE FLUX: RETRO FLUX

This is the first of a regular topic I will be trying; it’s called a “retro topic”. The premise is if blogs existed in the 80’s, this is something I might write about. And my first topic is, of course, the band Winger.

You remember Kip and his sexy-ass bass antics. I bet you also remember the song Seventeen.

I was thinking, if that song were released today, Kip probably would be arrested (wasn’t Kip like 33 at the time?) and the F.C.C. would have fined Clear Channel for playing the song. Here are some of the Lyrics, for those who don’t remember.

And just when I thought she was comin' to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said
I'm only seventeen,(KIP, SHE’S TELLIN YOU MAN…WALK AWAY NOW KIP!)
but I'll show you love like you've never seen
She's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me
Come to my place, we can talk it over, oh everything going down in your head
She said take it easy, I need some time, time to work it out, to make you mine
And just when I thought she was comin' to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said
I'm only seventeen, you ain't seen love, ain't seen nothing like me
She's only seventeen, seventeen


If those lyrics don’t scare you, take a look at some more disturbing ones that show up later:
She's a magic mountain, she's a leather glove
I’ve got chills.

10/05/2004

Fair and BIASED Reporting

AUDIBLE FLUX Headlines:Fox News reporter Paul Schur recently posted a fake story about John Kerry on the Fox News website. When the story was posted, it was posted as a real story. The story goes like this:

Shur reported that John Kerry, at an appearance after the debates, said to supporters "Didn't my nails look great? What a good debate!" "Women should like me! I do manicures."

The article also claimed that Kerry was comparing himself to G.W. Bush saying, "I'm metrosexual -- he's a cowboy."

If your going to post a fake story about Kerry, don't ya think you could post something better than that?

Fox News says it was a in-office joke that somehow got posted on to it's website and the reporter, Paul Schur, has been disciplined.

Okay but how the hell is this guy not getting fired? Isn't credibility the biggest thing a reporter should have. Now PAUL SCHUR has none. And by the way, it's not that easy to just "accidentally" post an article to a website. Especially a site as major as Fox News.

I think if Fox News was actually "fair and balanced" like they say they are, they would post a fake George Bush Jr. story. Maybe something like he's a homophobe and was a cocaine-head and has been caught drunk driving and is a "pro-lifer" but the biggest supporter of the death penalty...

...no wait, that wouldn't be fake -- It would be "FAIR AND BALANCED" though.

*Here is a link to the whole story
FAKE FOX NEWS REPORT


10/03/2004

The National Pastime is still Baseball

USA Today recently did one of their poll/graphs on what is the biggest spectator sport in the U.S. Of course it was Football with 23%. Baseball was 13%, NBA 10% and College Football came in at 7%.

It always pisses me off when I hear or see stuff about Football being the biggest sport. If Baseball was only played once a week like Football, Baseball would surely be the biggest. But this fact is always left out of the equation.

Could you imagine what it would be like if the Red Soxs and Yankees only played twice a year? How bout the Giants and Dodgers? The D-Rays and Tigers....well okay, that wouldn't be too great. But just think if the Cardinals and Lions played 15 times a year. Are you still pickin Football as America's sport?