SpongeBob SquareChristian

The recent crazy-nuts-insane claims, by conservative Christian groups, that SpongeBob SquarePants is promoting "gayness" to children, has got me thinking about the " gay danger" that is all around in cartoons and their characters.

I'm thinking that there are some other, dangerous to children, cartoon charters out there. Number one on that list....ELMER FUDD.

Yes that's right, Elmer. He is never with a woman, he sounds gay because he can't pronounce his R's (Wasskely Wabbit and Wabbit Twacks, to name a few) and when he goes out "huntin' Wabbit", do you think he really wants to shoot a rabbit? No. He wants a male-cross-dressing rabbit to "hook-up" with.

The only time you see Elmer get aroused (or awousd) is when Bugs has lipstick, a wig and a dress on. When Bugs takes off his get-up and reveals himself, Elmer acts surprised but he is always a little pissed too. I think because he knows it's Bugs the whole time and is wanting Bugs to take the "game" a little further.

After the groups take on SpongeBob and Elmer, I've got another cartoon couple to take a good look at: Shaggy and Scooby. I think Shag spends a little too much time with Scoob, if ya know what a mean.


Are you READY for this? (second draft)

In my spare time, I do some screenwriting (along with a trillion other people) so I thought I would start posting a scene or two and see if I can get some feedback from anybody...that means you anybody.

This is the set-up for a short I've written entitled "Ready Eddie". It's about a dork named ED who, for the first time, is having a girlfriend, VAL, move in with him. I'm using the word "ready" as some sort of a gimmic in this scene. It begins with Val and Ed's friends debating if the two of them should be moving in together:

VAL, girl next door type, 21 years old, is laying in a lounge chair by a pool with her friend PATI. Pati's eight year old boy TEDDY is on the diving board.

NO WAY are you ready to move in.
I am too ready.
Mom are you ready to watch me dive?
Yes honey.

Teddy leaps off the diving board as Pati only watches for a second then focuses her attention back on Val.

Does Ed seem ready?

Val ponders this question.

Yea. He's ready...

Three GUYS in their twenties are playing Wiffleball. ED, (a stylized geek) DAVE and SAM.
Ed is at home plate holding a bat. Dave is pitching. Sam is hanging out watching the guys play.

...You're not ready Ed.
It's not like we're getting married. It's just moving in together.
Wow. Just moving in huh? You're definitely not ready.

Dave pitches to Ed and throws the ball into the dirt. Ed takes a big swing and misses.

Look, there comes a point when you just have to go ahead and do it. Find out what it will be like. For gods sake Sam, you should know what the hell I'm talking about, you're fucking married.
Hey, fucking and married have nothing to do with one another.

Ed has stopped waiting for Dave's next pitch and is standing with his bat resting on his shoulder, looking at Sam.
Dave throws a pitch by Ed, right down-the-middle.

Strike two.
Speaking of fucking: Have you and that Alex chick done it yet Dave?

Dave winds up and hurls the Wiffleball directly at Ed. Ed "bails out" but the ball still hits him in the head.

Ed lies on the ground rubbing his forehead.

I wasn't ready for that.

  • I know there isn't much to work with but if you have any comments, good or bad, please feel free to leave me some. I don't care if you know nothing about screenwriting. Don't be nice about it if you see a problem. I'm trying to use this as a motivational tool to get more writing done. Thanks!



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If you go and donate then maybe it will help stop you from feeling guilty about buying all of those comic books over the weekend. Oh no wait, that was ahhh...that was just me...nevermind.

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