5/08/2005

That's MY Table "Churchie"

What is it with going out to breakfast on Sunday's? Whatever town you're in, I'll bet the good breakfast places are packed on Sunday mornings. On days like Mother's Day, forget about it.

Breakfast places get a nice mix of just-out-of-church, just-woke-up-and-didn't-want-to-make-breakfast, and still-out-from-the-night-before. The one thing all of these groups have in common is waiting for a table.

You're hungry as hell, because you haven't eaten since about seven the night before, and now you gotta wait a half-hour just to sit down. There is little else to do but to start staring at people who have already got their food. (What, you expect me to TALK to the people I'm with?)

The people to hate the most are the ones who have eaten, got their checks and are still sitting around talking. There are gangs of people waiting for tables but these 'table elitist' just sit there jabering on about how they need to go to Home Depot after this and pick up spool for their Weedeater.

The group that is worse is the decided-to-have-a-big-Church or birthday or Mother's Day gathering. Couldn't have done it at somebody's house, had to do it now, seemingly, just to delay you from getting your 'short stack' with wheat toast, when you wanted.

Another group to watch are the others waiting for tables. You do an inventory of the groups, thinking to yourself "Okay, they were here before us and they're still waiting, so they haven't called us yet." Another group comes in after you boasting to their party "We should be next." And you are thinking "Like hell you are. We've been here a whole two minutes longer than you, we've put in our time, candy-ass!"

Finally, that glorious moment comes when you get to sit down. You take a quick look at the people still waiting, as if to say "So long sucka's."

Then, you take way too long eating, open gifts you should have opened at home and smirk at the groups that are still waiting, as you talk about your latest trip to Home Depot.

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