5/31/2005

DUMB BLOG ALERT

BRRAAA BA BRRRAAA, BRRAAA BA BRRRAAA
THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BLOGING SYSTEM – THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

I don’t know about where you live, but here in Fresno, the Emergency Broadcast System test message, that is played over the radio, sounds like hell. It’s if the guy giving the message is calling from a thunderstorm in 1938.

Hasn’t our audio technology advanced enough to make a clear sounding message? Maybe the point is to make it raw sounding to get our attention. The blaring tones at the beginning get my attention enough guys, thanks.

Don’t you wish, one of those times the test message comes on, it is an actual, exciting, emergency and not just a test? Something like “Aliens have landed and are milling about around the Corcoran State Prison area. We think they are from Mars. Charles Manson is interpreting for us - more news to follow.”

THIS HAS BEEN A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BLOGING SYSTEM. IF THIS HAD BEEN AN ACTUAL FUNNY BLOG, LAUGHTER WOULD HAVE ENSUED.

5/26/2005

Never Judge A Tweaker By Its Cover

Tweakers friggin scare me. Their jumpy actions, wide eyes and stream of conscience speaking style, drives me a little nuts.

At my job, I work outside a lot and go all over town (Madera, CA.). I work along sidewalks part of the time. The other day, I'm working and a guy comes up who looks to be homeless or just a tweaker. He asks me "Hey man, you work for Blah Blah Blah?" [my company's name is omitted to protect the un-innocent] I say "Yea." The Tweaker inquires "Where can I go to give an application?" I tell him the only way is to go online, submit though there (which IS the only way). He says thanks and moves on.

Now, I don't think we are hiring but, I'm thinking, it's pretty doubtful they're hiring tweakers anyway.

The next day I'm in a total different part of town, at a business that's getting ready to open up. I'm waiting for the manager to get off his phone so I can ask him what he needs from me. I then hear, from behind "Hey man, you work in this part of town too?" It was the tweaker from the day before. I nod and he goes on to say "Yea, I sent my application through your guys' website, don't know if I'll hear back." I say "Man, you never know, good luck dude." He then goes on to talk shop about stuff I don't even know much about.

Tweaker is waiting for the manager too and he talks to him first. I listen in on their conversation and the Tweaker is asking the manager about a job.

Now I feel like an asshole.

This "tweaker" is going all around town, on foot I believe, pounding the pavement, trying to get his unemployed self a job. Here my jerk-ass self was lookin' down on the guy.

I'll never make a snap judgment on a tweaker again. Be annoyed maybe, but judgmental, no.

5/25/2005

Thank You Episode I and II

GEEK-BOY OPINION ALERT - PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T STAND DORKS WHO TAKE STAR WARS TOO SERIOUSLY.

Everybody has an opinion on them [Star Wars - "Phantom Menace" and "Clone Wars"] and most are bad. It really became almost "cool" to bash Episodes I and II.

The fact is, our imaginations built up those movies so much, there is now way the films could have matched it. Even if you didn't like the first two prequels, you have to recognize their importance.

In EP's I and II, we see Senator Palpatine's "friendship" with Anakin grow, Anakin's problems with the "Jedi Way" and Ani's love for Padame. Without that, Episode III couldn't have worked. It still would have been cool but you wouldn't believe that Anakin would have turned to the Dark Side so quickly.

Now that most S.W. fans have seen the new and final flick "Revenge Of The Sith", it is "cool" to praise the Star Wars francaise again. The movie IS pretty damn good. Even mild fans agree. But "Sith" is good due, in large part, to the groundworked layed out in Episode I and II.

GEEK-BOY ALERT NOW OVER.

5/16/2005

Don't Let Greenlight Go Out!

What have I done? Sweet Jesus...What have I done? My bad Mojo may have killed one of my favorite TV shows.

I have been supporting the third season of Project Greenlight(at the moment, on the Bravo network)as much as I can. Tivoing every episode,writing about how great a season it's been. Every show was more interesting than the next.

Through some great show editing, they managed to find a person to dislike almost every episode. One episode it was the Director, then the Studio Head, then the Casting Director, the Director of Photography, the Line Producer, the spoiled actress and so on.

It was a fun season to watch. Unfortunately, it could be the last. A morbid statement from show Executive Producer Chris Moore, makes it look like this could be the end:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thank You"
Episode 9

Last night was probably the last new episode of Project Greenlight ever. I am sorry to be reporting this here, but anyone reading this blog is a devoted and loyal Project Greenlight fan. You have been loyal and vocal and true fans of what we have tried to do, so I want you all to know the truth first. Although the movie FEAST awaits release, the ratings of this year's Project Greenlight show will not warrant bringing the show back. It is possible that Dimension will do the movie again, which could mean there is a contest again next year. However, my gut is telling me that without the whole three-headed monster of the TV show, contest and film, there is little chance of Project Greenlight continuing

-Chris Moore


For what it's worth, I hope the show can somehow comeback (I still haven't submited a script in to get rejected). If you want to do something, you can click this link: Online Petition and sign the petition to save PGL!! It really is the best reality show out there.

Since I seem to give bad Mojo to my favorite shows, maybe I should watch some bad shows and give that bad stuff to them. What time is "Extreme Makeover" on?

5/12/2005

Resting On My Lack Of Laurels

Writing a Blog is goofy. Especially when you have one as random as mine.

Some people have the serious kind of Blog. Such as, political, news and information, Britney and Kevin happenings, porn - you know, important stuff.

Then there are the ones that report on things like how solid their cat's bowel movements are. Mine falls somewhere in the middle (hopefully not between porn and cat shit).

What the hell is the point of this blog anyway? Nobody's paying me to write, very little acclaim comes around (what's to acclaim really?). Yes, "bloggers" do get a lot of chicks (nothings hotter than a guy writing about Big Wheels and Wiffleball), but I'm married so what good does that do me?

You know, I've got a lot of other things I could spend my downtime doing. My virtual Oakland A's season on MVP 2005 (Sony PS2) is way behind the real A's season. Plus there is a really bad screenplay I'm working on (I've completed a whole SIX PAGES people) that I need to get to.

Also, I get these uneasy, egotistical feelings about keeping the blog around because I think to myself "Nobody wants to hear what some hack writer thinks about Star Wars and The Foo Fighters." But I still feel an obligation to keep writing. I don't know who it is I feel obligated to either - I just do.

But I guess I'll keep writing - what the hell huh? Right now though, I need to stop. I've got page seven of a goofy screenplay to start on, right after I get the A's back to first place.

5/08/2005

That's MY Table "Churchie"

What is it with going out to breakfast on Sunday's? Whatever town you're in, I'll bet the good breakfast places are packed on Sunday mornings. On days like Mother's Day, forget about it.

Breakfast places get a nice mix of just-out-of-church, just-woke-up-and-didn't-want-to-make-breakfast, and still-out-from-the-night-before. The one thing all of these groups have in common is waiting for a table.

You're hungry as hell, because you haven't eaten since about seven the night before, and now you gotta wait a half-hour just to sit down. There is little else to do but to start staring at people who have already got their food. (What, you expect me to TALK to the people I'm with?)

The people to hate the most are the ones who have eaten, got their checks and are still sitting around talking. There are gangs of people waiting for tables but these 'table elitist' just sit there jabering on about how they need to go to Home Depot after this and pick up spool for their Weedeater.

The group that is worse is the decided-to-have-a-big-Church or birthday or Mother's Day gathering. Couldn't have done it at somebody's house, had to do it now, seemingly, just to delay you from getting your 'short stack' with wheat toast, when you wanted.

Another group to watch are the others waiting for tables. You do an inventory of the groups, thinking to yourself "Okay, they were here before us and they're still waiting, so they haven't called us yet." Another group comes in after you boasting to their party "We should be next." And you are thinking "Like hell you are. We've been here a whole two minutes longer than you, we've put in our time, candy-ass!"

Finally, that glorious moment comes when you get to sit down. You take a quick look at the people still waiting, as if to say "So long sucka's."

Then, you take way too long eating, open gifts you should have opened at home and smirk at the groups that are still waiting, as you talk about your latest trip to Home Depot.

5/04/2005

I'm STILL The Idiot

Since I haven't been fired up enough to write about anything lately, I decided to recycle a post from last year. Lazy? Yes. But hey, nobody's paying me to write this junk and sometimes a post you did some real work on gets lost.

Hell, I stayed up all night putting together this one:
---------------

If you were on United Flight 6054 from Kauai to LAX last Friday night, I'm the ass-hole who kept his overhead light on the whole damn flight. I don't think the poor dude next to me got a damn bit of sleep.

Let me explain. This was a five hour "red-eye" flight. So most people, the sane ones anyway, fully plan to sleep most of the flight. They take some PM pills and/or have a drink or just actually close their eyes and fall asleep. Now I did have a drink but it didn't really matter. I just can't sleep sitting up in a chair. Maybe for like thirty seconds but that is about it.

TIMELINE 8:30 PM
I am on the plane and have found my seat. I am flying with my wife and friends (Mahalooo guys) but I am sitting next to none of them due to a overbooked flight. I've got the isle (the isle is best for me since I have a pea sized bladder) and the seats next to me and across the isle from me haven't been taken yet. The people next to you can make or break a flight.
The worst is the crying baby or brat kid that have parents that don't realize or care that their kid is a brat.

Who am I gonna get? Nice, it's a couple about my age, they ought to leave me alone, which is what we all want really...Yes? But who will be in the isle next to me?....Oh how nice, it's a bonus, a German speaking women who has, yes you guessed it, a baby and a little kid. The question is, are they brats? Actually they seem fine so far. So I get settled in for a nice five hour plus flight.

TIMELINE 9:10 PM
We are shooting through the air, over the vast Pacific Ocean. The movie is about to start (Shrek 2, very solid - for in-flight movie) and I do a quick lavatory run to empty out the aforementioned pea sized bladder. I catch a glimpse of the Wife already passed out and my friends still up and ready to watch Shrek2. About three quarters of the plane is still up.

TIMELINE 11:30 PM
The movie is over and the captain has turned off the interior lights so that people can start sleeping (again, normal people anyway). There are about a dozen overhead lights on now, mine being one of them. I'm reading now but I want to start writing stuff but I keep thinking the guy next to me will try and read what I'm writing. I don't know why I am thinking this-As if this guy gives a shit about what I'm writing. I am mostly just afraid he'll look over and think what a dumb-ass I am for writing about being on a red-eye flight.

TIMELINE 12:45 PM
The baby across the isle has finally started to cry. I think I am the only one that is not bothered by this since I am the only fool in the area with his light on. There are actually twelve lights currently on in the entire plane.

TIMELINE 1:15 AM ( 4:15 LA time)
Out of approximately 300 people, I am now the only one with his light on. Yep I am the only loser who isn't trying to sleep. I'm still worried the guy next to me is looking at my writing even though he has his head buried in his hands-probably thinking "I wish this jack-ass would turn off his fuckin light."

TIMELINE 4:55 AM (now switched to LA time)
The Captain has announced that we are getting ready to land and everybody needs to wake the hell up. I'm the only person to have kept his light on the whole flight. I don't know if I should feel proud or stupid.

In the end, I'm not sure why I decided to write about sitting through a red-eye flight being the only person who tried to stay awake. Writing practice? Pass the time? To just piss off the guy next to me?

Nah, probably just to be an idiot.