Yes, the new FORUM is in full force but has yet to catch on. I think the lack of posting messages in the forum is because people don't want to look like "geeks" or maybe they have something "better to do" or actually have a "life".
Yea, I get it. You don't have "time" to post about Star Wars or the A's pitching staff, when Britney Spears is going to pose nude for Playboy, how good the MVP 2005 is, or even talk Wiffleball.
Shame on you for having a "life".
Well I don't have a life so come with me to post in the Audible Flux/FWL FORUM. A new writers section has been started so if you write blogs or write anything, come on in.
If you are a writer who doesn't want to talk about writing and just wants to talk about Wookiees, we got that for you too!
MESSAGE FORUM
3/31/2005
3/24/2005
Road Raged
"Move your fuckin' new Cadi' ya son-of-a-bitch!" That's what I told the guy in front of me at the Shaw-n-Van Ness Citibank drive-thru ATM (actually, I just said it to myself but I'm sure the dude was getin' the 'vibe' I was throwin'). This guy was driving a brand new Cadillac somethin'-er-another and he was taking to damn long at the ATM.
[Don't ya just hate it when people decide to do a year's worth of banking...at the ATM?!]
I really wasn't pissed at the Cadi-man, it's just fun to get pissed at somebody who's driving a nicer car than yours. That's really how I define my road-rage; what kind of car the person is driving.
It's less about the other driver's egregious traffic error and more about the person who did it and how snobish their car is.
So if somebody is driving a grossly oversized SUV or a Porsche and they are from say sixteen to sixty years old and don't look like they can kick my ass, they are getting a tongue lashing; something like, "Hey ya Son-of-a-cock-fucker!"
Now, if the person is driving a midsized or a pick-up, maybe something cool but not self-important, I'm a little more willing to let driving errors slide. It's not as fun to cuss out a like-car-owner - they might be a cool person who just 'spaced' for a second.
There is no way somebody in some arrogant-ass car is a 'cool person' or just 'spaced'; they're just a cock-fucker...right?
[Don't ya just hate it when people decide to do a year's worth of banking...at the ATM?!]
I really wasn't pissed at the Cadi-man, it's just fun to get pissed at somebody who's driving a nicer car than yours. That's really how I define my road-rage; what kind of car the person is driving.
It's less about the other driver's egregious traffic error and more about the person who did it and how snobish their car is.
So if somebody is driving a grossly oversized SUV or a Porsche and they are from say sixteen to sixty years old and don't look like they can kick my ass, they are getting a tongue lashing; something like, "Hey ya Son-of-a-cock-fucker!"
Now, if the person is driving a midsized or a pick-up, maybe something cool but not self-important, I'm a little more willing to let driving errors slide. It's not as fun to cuss out a like-car-owner - they might be a cool person who just 'spaced' for a second.
There is no way somebody in some arrogant-ass car is a 'cool person' or just 'spaced'; they're just a cock-fucker...right?
3/20/2005
AUDIBLE FLUX CREATES USELESS FORUM!!
Well I hope this new FLUX FORUM won't be useless. I have created [Well I didn't exactly 'create', I just signed up] a new FORUM for this blog.
Please feel free to go there and discuss anything that's going on, what I've been writing about, how I suck or post a picture of you're ex. nude.
Go check the shat out, become a member and start posting now, by clicking AUDIBLE FLUX FORUM
Please feel free to go there and discuss anything that's going on, what I've been writing about, how I suck or post a picture of you're ex. nude.
Go check the shat out, become a member and start posting now, by clicking AUDIBLE FLUX FORUM
3/16/2005
LITTLE VADER BABIES
I have a love hate relationship with movie trailers. I always enjoy watching them but hate it when they reveal too much. The new Star Wars trailer personifies this love hate.
I know I shouldn't but I can't not watch the new Episode III trailer. It's so bad-ass but It makes me so pissed because it gives the whole movie away. Yes, I already know what basically happens but the trailer really spells it out.
The trailer does do it's job though - I can't wait to see the friggin movie. If you want to see the trailer go ahead and click HERE!
But if you don't like spoilers, I suggest you don't. So so damn discipline, unlike me.
3/07/2005
Writing Is Stupid
I constantly feel guilty when I'm not writing. I don't know if it's because I'm Catholic or I should really just feel guilty. Before I started writing (trying to anyway) I didn't feel guilty all the time - Or did I?
There is always something else I should be doing. Like visiting my grandma or going to the dentist or cleaning the garage. Death, taxes and GUILT, should be the saying.
Even when I'm working hard, having a root canal, taking a drive with my grandma, I'm thinking how my house needs a new roof and the bathroom needs new tile.
The good and bad thing about writing is, you feel like you're accomplishing something, (even when you aren't) so the voices-of-guilt quite down briefly.
Except that now I'm thinking I should be working on my screenplay and not writing a dopey blog.
It's a vicious cycle...I've gotta go and call my grandma now.
There is always something else I should be doing. Like visiting my grandma or going to the dentist or cleaning the garage. Death, taxes and GUILT, should be the saying.
Even when I'm working hard, having a root canal, taking a drive with my grandma, I'm thinking how my house needs a new roof and the bathroom needs new tile.
The good and bad thing about writing is, you feel like you're accomplishing something, (even when you aren't) so the voices-of-guilt quite down briefly.
Except that now I'm thinking I should be working on my screenplay and not writing a dopey blog.
It's a vicious cycle...I've gotta go and call my grandma now.
2/28/2005
Oscar Flux
Here is a rundown of Audible Flux's Oscar picks (the bigins anyway). These are what I thought Oscar voters would choose, not what I would choose (if I had a vote, there would be way too many comic book inspired picks...WAY too many).
CINEMATOGRAPHY: I chose Robert Richardson for The Aviator--W.
EDITING: The Avitor wins and I picked Avitator--W.
SOUND MIXING: Ray takes it but I chose The Aviator--L. (I chose Ray first...really!)
COSTUME DESIGN: I took The Aviator and I chose wisely agian--W.
ANIMATED FEATURE: I wanted The Incredibles and so did the Oscar voters--W.
ORIGINAL SONG: "Learn To Be Lonely" is what I chose but they chose "Al Orto Lado"--L.
VISUAL EFFECTS: We both chose Spiderman2, finally my geek-boyness pays off--W.
SCREENPLAY (ORIGINAL): Again, the voters and I are the same: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Charlie Kaufman is a Genius!--W.
SCREENPLAY (ADAPTATION): I wanted Sideways but Chose Million Dollar Baby. Voters chose Sideways..Doh--L.
SUPPORTING ACTOR: At the last minute I changed from Morgan to Hayden Church--dumb move, they picked Morgan Freeman--L.
SUPPORTING ACTESS: Cate Blanchett takes Oscar just as I thought--W.
ACTOR: Big suprise, we both chose Jamie Fox--W.
ACTRESS: Hilary Swank is what Oscar voted for and what I picked (would've liked Kate to win though)--W.
DIRECTOR: I thought they might finally throw Martin a bone but Clint gets the bone--W.
BEST PICTURE: Million Dollar Baby...baby--W.
AUDIBLE FLUX'S RECORD: 11-4. If I only would've gone to Vegas and picked the right one for a parlay. I did get a "Heat" special edition DVD out of it though--thanks Trent, I'm waiting at my mailbox right now.
CINEMATOGRAPHY: I chose Robert Richardson for The Aviator--W.
EDITING: The Avitor wins and I picked Avitator--W.
SOUND MIXING: Ray takes it but I chose The Aviator--L. (I chose Ray first...really!)
COSTUME DESIGN: I took The Aviator and I chose wisely agian--W.
ANIMATED FEATURE: I wanted The Incredibles and so did the Oscar voters--W.
ORIGINAL SONG: "Learn To Be Lonely" is what I chose but they chose "Al Orto Lado"--L.
VISUAL EFFECTS: We both chose Spiderman2, finally my geek-boyness pays off--W.
SCREENPLAY (ORIGINAL): Again, the voters and I are the same: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Charlie Kaufman is a Genius!--W.
SCREENPLAY (ADAPTATION): I wanted Sideways but Chose Million Dollar Baby. Voters chose Sideways..Doh--L.
SUPPORTING ACTOR: At the last minute I changed from Morgan to Hayden Church--dumb move, they picked Morgan Freeman--L.
SUPPORTING ACTESS: Cate Blanchett takes Oscar just as I thought--W.
ACTOR: Big suprise, we both chose Jamie Fox--W.
ACTRESS: Hilary Swank is what Oscar voted for and what I picked (would've liked Kate to win though)--W.
DIRECTOR: I thought they might finally throw Martin a bone but Clint gets the bone--W.
BEST PICTURE: Million Dollar Baby...baby--W.
AUDIBLE FLUX'S RECORD: 11-4. If I only would've gone to Vegas and picked the right one for a parlay. I did get a "Heat" special edition DVD out of it though--thanks Trent, I'm waiting at my mailbox right now.
2/17/2005
Pay Me No Mind
Crap crap crap, I am just spinin' my wheels.
Crap crap crap, can't write something meaningful.
Crap crap crap, this is just being lazy.
Crap crap crap, just good at writing a load of nothing.
Crap crap crap, do I really not have enough time?
Crap crap crap, always feel like I should be writing something else, something that isn't CRAP!
Crap crap crap, can't write something meaningful.
Crap crap crap, this is just being lazy.
Crap crap crap, just good at writing a load of nothing.
Crap crap crap, do I really not have enough time?
Crap crap crap, always feel like I should be writing something else, something that isn't CRAP!
2/06/2005
A Geeky Scene
Yet another draft of the scene I posted from a short I'm trying to write "Ready Eddie". It's now back to being called "Geek" and is still creating way to much work, for very little results. Please feel free to leave me some comments, GOOD AND BAD, so I can then go back and waste more time on it.
FADE IN:
INT. ED'S GUEST ROOM
Two guys, ED (a hip-geek in his twenties) and his friend SAM,
are looking at Ed's walls which are filled with comics and
action figures (all still in their original boxes).
SAM
This has to be the dorkiest room on
the west coast.
ED
Come on, you have action figures.
SAM
Had, had them when I was eleven.
Sam takes a hard look at a Star Wars action figure of Natalie
Portman.
SAM
You do realize that it won't be
long till Val makes you take this
shit down?
ED
No she won't. When she moved in, I
told her she could do whatever with
the house, just as long as I had my
room still. She was fine with that.
SAM
Dude, just give her time.
ED
She's not like that.
SAM
They're all like that. And once
you give in and she has control of
the house, then, soon after, she
will get control of you.
Ed rolls his eyes at Sam.
SAM
I'm serious, it will happen. I
speak from experience.
ED
Yea, you are pretty whipped.
SAM
Maybe so, but it's not too late for
you. You can still stop it, keep
control.
ED
I'm not worried.
SAM
(in a Yoda voice)
You will be.
FADE IN:
INT. ED'S GUEST ROOM
Two guys, ED (a hip-geek in his twenties) and his friend SAM,
are looking at Ed's walls which are filled with comics and
action figures (all still in their original boxes).
SAM
This has to be the dorkiest room on
the west coast.
ED
Come on, you have action figures.
SAM
Had, had them when I was eleven.
Sam takes a hard look at a Star Wars action figure of Natalie
Portman.
SAM
You do realize that it won't be
long till Val makes you take this
shit down?
ED
No she won't. When she moved in, I
told her she could do whatever with
the house, just as long as I had my
room still. She was fine with that.
SAM
Dude, just give her time.
ED
She's not like that.
SAM
They're all like that. And once
you give in and she has control of
the house, then, soon after, she
will get control of you.
Ed rolls his eyes at Sam.
SAM
I'm serious, it will happen. I
speak from experience.
ED
Yea, you are pretty whipped.
SAM
Maybe so, but it's not too late for
you. You can still stop it, keep
control.
ED
I'm not worried.
SAM
(in a Yoda voice)
You will be.
2/02/2005
Zero Miles To The Gallon
Not that any of you regular readers need reminding but I am a big geek. Comics, movies, sports, the list goes on and on. Even with normal things I can find a geeky angle. I have the "geek gene".
So in keeping with that, I came across a video clip (courtesy of a poster on the ViewAskew message board) of the Batmobile roaming around town and being filmed for the upcoming Batman Begins movie.
It's a home movie from a couple guys standing around watching the filming.
Click here:batman.mov and check it out. Give it a few minutes to download.
You have now filled your "geek quota" for the day.
1/26/2005
SpongeBob SquareChristian
The recent crazy-nuts-insane claims, by conservative Christian groups, that SpongeBob SquarePants is promoting "gayness" to children, has got me thinking about the " gay danger" that is all around in cartoons and their characters.
I'm thinking that there are some other, dangerous to children, cartoon charters out there. Number one on that list....ELMER FUDD.
Yes that's right, Elmer. He is never with a woman, he sounds gay because he can't pronounce his R's (Wasskely Wabbit and Wabbit Twacks, to name a few) and when he goes out "huntin' Wabbit", do you think he really wants to shoot a rabbit? No. He wants a male-cross-dressing rabbit to "hook-up" with.
The only time you see Elmer get aroused (or awousd) is when Bugs has lipstick, a wig and a dress on. When Bugs takes off his get-up and reveals himself, Elmer acts surprised but he is always a little pissed too. I think because he knows it's Bugs the whole time and is wanting Bugs to take the "game" a little further.
After the groups take on SpongeBob and Elmer, I've got another cartoon couple to take a good look at: Shaggy and Scooby. I think Shag spends a little too much time with Scoob, if ya know what a mean.
1/11/2005
Are you READY for this? (second draft)
In my spare time, I do some screenwriting (along with a trillion other people) so I thought I would start posting a scene or two and see if I can get some feedback from anybody...that means you anybody.
This is the set-up for a short I've written entitled "Ready Eddie". It's about a dork named ED who, for the first time, is having a girlfriend, VAL, move in with him. I'm using the word "ready" as some sort of a gimmic in this scene. It begins with Val and Ed's friends debating if the two of them should be moving in together:
INT. PATI'S BACKYARD - DAY
VAL, girl next door type, 21 years old, is laying in a lounge chair by a pool with her friend PATI. Pati's eight year old boy TEDDY is on the diving board.
PATI
NO WAY are you ready to move in.
VAL
I am too ready.
TEDDY
Mom are you ready to watch me dive?
PATI
Yes honey.
Teddy leaps off the diving board as Pati only watches for a second then focuses her attention back on Val.
PATI
Does Ed seem ready?
Val ponders this question.
VAL
Yea. He's ready...
EXT. ED'S BACKYARD - DAY
Three GUYS in their twenties are playing Wiffleball. ED, (a stylized geek) DAVE and SAM.
Ed is at home plate holding a bat. Dave is pitching. Sam is hanging out watching the guys play.
SAM
...You're not ready Ed.
ED
It's not like we're getting married. It's just moving in together.
SAM
Wow. Just moving in huh? You're definitely not ready.
Dave pitches to Ed and throws the ball into the dirt. Ed takes a big swing and misses.
ED
Look, there comes a point when you just have to go ahead and do it. Find out what it will be like. For gods sake Sam, you should know what the hell I'm talking about, you're fucking married.
SAM
Hey, fucking and married have nothing to do with one another.
Ed has stopped waiting for Dave's next pitch and is standing with his bat resting on his shoulder, looking at Sam.
Dave throws a pitch by Ed, right down-the-middle.
DAVE
Strike two.
ED
Speaking of fucking: Have you and that Alex chick done it yet Dave?
Dave winds up and hurls the Wiffleball directly at Ed. Ed "bails out" but the ball still hits him in the head.
Ed lies on the ground rubbing his forehead.
ED
I wasn't ready for that.
This is the set-up for a short I've written entitled "Ready Eddie". It's about a dork named ED who, for the first time, is having a girlfriend, VAL, move in with him. I'm using the word "ready" as some sort of a gimmic in this scene. It begins with Val and Ed's friends debating if the two of them should be moving in together:
INT. PATI'S BACKYARD - DAY
VAL, girl next door type, 21 years old, is laying in a lounge chair by a pool with her friend PATI. Pati's eight year old boy TEDDY is on the diving board.
PATI
NO WAY are you ready to move in.
VAL
I am too ready.
TEDDY
Mom are you ready to watch me dive?
PATI
Yes honey.
Teddy leaps off the diving board as Pati only watches for a second then focuses her attention back on Val.
PATI
Does Ed seem ready?
Val ponders this question.
VAL
Yea. He's ready...
EXT. ED'S BACKYARD - DAY
Three GUYS in their twenties are playing Wiffleball. ED, (a stylized geek) DAVE and SAM.
Ed is at home plate holding a bat. Dave is pitching. Sam is hanging out watching the guys play.
SAM
...You're not ready Ed.
ED
It's not like we're getting married. It's just moving in together.
SAM
Wow. Just moving in huh? You're definitely not ready.
Dave pitches to Ed and throws the ball into the dirt. Ed takes a big swing and misses.
ED
Look, there comes a point when you just have to go ahead and do it. Find out what it will be like. For gods sake Sam, you should know what the hell I'm talking about, you're fucking married.
SAM
Hey, fucking and married have nothing to do with one another.
Ed has stopped waiting for Dave's next pitch and is standing with his bat resting on his shoulder, looking at Sam.
Dave throws a pitch by Ed, right down-the-middle.
DAVE
Strike two.
ED
Speaking of fucking: Have you and that Alex chick done it yet Dave?
Dave winds up and hurls the Wiffleball directly at Ed. Ed "bails out" but the ball still hits him in the head.
Ed lies on the ground rubbing his forehead.
ED
I wasn't ready for that.
- I know there isn't much to work with but if you have any comments, good or bad, please feel free to leave me some. I don't care if you know nothing about screenwriting. Don't be nice about it if you see a problem. I'm trying to use this as a motivational tool to get more writing done. Thanks!
1/03/2005
DONATE, YA CHEAP BASTARDS!
If you have been thinking about donating to the Tsunami relief effort but have been to lazy to do it, here is your chance. Just click the Red Cross Link to donate online.
If you go and donate then maybe it will help stop you from feeling guilty about buying all of those comic books over the weekend. Oh no wait, that was ahhh...that was just me...nevermind.
DONATE NOW BIZNITCH!
(If ya think about it, I would like to here from you [in comments]if you used the above link to make a donation. It will make me feel all warm and fuzzy-tingle like.)
If you go and donate then maybe it will help stop you from feeling guilty about buying all of those comic books over the weekend. Oh no wait, that was ahhh...that was just me...nevermind.
DONATE NOW BIZNITCH!
(If ya think about it, I would like to here from you [in comments]if you used the above link to make a donation. It will make me feel all warm and fuzzy-tingle like.)
12/27/2004
The Big Wheeling Seventies
It’s inevitable that every Christmas, while wrapping gifts or tearing them open, you reminisce about gifts you got as a child. This year, for me, it was the Big Wheel.
The Big Wheel was an orange, red and I want to say…blue, plastic tricycle. It was the first “vehicle” that I owned. My first little bit of freedom, a cool way to go down the sidewalk. Not like the lame, bike with training wheels or holding your mommies hand way.
The best part was skidding. You get up a full head of steam, pick a driveway of somebody you didn’t like, and slam that front wheel sideways as hard as you can. If you left a nice black mark and got the old man in the house to glare at you from his front window, you’ve done your job.
I thought I was pretty damn cool with my Big Wheel—but then came the Green Machine. It was bigger and had a hand brake and well…it was green. It seemed like the most expensive piece of equipment ever engineered.
It was the bike for the “elite” neighborhood kid, who was better known as the asshole or “poop-head” of the block. Or the kid compensating for a small penis even though he didn’t know about the whole big penis envy thing yet. It’s now called “Humvieitis”.
Even after I learned how to ride a bike, I still rode my Big Wheel more often times than not. One of the last memories I have of my Big Wheeler was riding it when I was probably fifty pounds over the recommended weight for a rider. So basically it was last year.
I guess I would say that the Big Wheel was the greatest toy of the seventies, if not OF ALL TIME! Wait, Electric Football came out then didn’t it?
The Big Wheel was an orange, red and I want to say…blue, plastic tricycle. It was the first “vehicle” that I owned. My first little bit of freedom, a cool way to go down the sidewalk. Not like the lame, bike with training wheels or holding your mommies hand way.
The best part was skidding. You get up a full head of steam, pick a driveway of somebody you didn’t like, and slam that front wheel sideways as hard as you can. If you left a nice black mark and got the old man in the house to glare at you from his front window, you’ve done your job.
I thought I was pretty damn cool with my Big Wheel—but then came the Green Machine. It was bigger and had a hand brake and well…it was green. It seemed like the most expensive piece of equipment ever engineered.
It was the bike for the “elite” neighborhood kid, who was better known as the asshole or “poop-head” of the block. Or the kid compensating for a small penis even though he didn’t know about the whole big penis envy thing yet. It’s now called “Humvieitis”.
Even after I learned how to ride a bike, I still rode my Big Wheel more often times than not. One of the last memories I have of my Big Wheeler was riding it when I was probably fifty pounds over the recommended weight for a rider. So basically it was last year.
I guess I would say that the Big Wheel was the greatest toy of the seventies, if not OF ALL TIME! Wait, Electric Football came out then didn’t it?
12/14/2004
IT'S A DEMOCRATIC CHRISTMAS
Have you ever wondered, (when holiday shopping in Target, buying socks from grandma and a new Playstation game for yourself) "What political party does this Target donate to the most?"
What's that? You haven't? Yea me neither. But if you are curious, go to choosetheblue.com .
There you can find out if your favorite store, car maker, utility company, porn producer or even restaurant, contributes to your party more than the other.
I do warn you though, you may become very disappointed to find out that some of your favorite places donate to the wrong party. Like, I found out that Taco Bell donates 83% to the Republican Party. So now I guess I'm going to have to get people to buy me my Taco Bell. Would that still count?
Sonic Drive-in donates 100% to the Democratic Party though. Think there is any chance Sonic will start making Gordita Crunches?
What's that? You haven't? Yea me neither. But if you are curious, go to choosetheblue.com .
There you can find out if your favorite store, car maker, utility company, porn producer or even restaurant, contributes to your party more than the other.
I do warn you though, you may become very disappointed to find out that some of your favorite places donate to the wrong party. Like, I found out that Taco Bell donates 83% to the Republican Party. So now I guess I'm going to have to get people to buy me my Taco Bell. Would that still count?
Sonic Drive-in donates 100% to the Democratic Party though. Think there is any chance Sonic will start making Gordita Crunches?
12/07/2004
Is Santa Outsourcing Jobs?
Zogby International did a pole involving what political party people think the Grinch, Santa and Ebenezer Scrooge are in. Here is what they thought:
Ebenezer Scrooge.........Republican. That one is obvious--an old white guy with lots of money. But what is he after he changes into nice and giving Ebenezer on Christmas morning. A flip-flopping damn liberal that's what!
Santa Claus.......Democrat. Okay, I get it. He is a giving guy, no matter if you are poor or not. But he does run a monopoly type business. And I don't know how much he is paying those elves but I get the sense that it's next to nothing. At least he isn't outsourcing work overseas...or is he? I called the 1-800 Santa customer service center the other day and I got an "elf" that called himself "Steve" but had a real think Indian accent.
The Grinch......Republican. This just shows how two-party-happy we are. It's so obvious he is a Libertarian. He's got that "Everybody do what they want but be quiet about it and just leave me the fuck alone!" thing down.
*Check out the full details of the poll here.
Ebenezer Scrooge.........Republican. That one is obvious--an old white guy with lots of money. But what is he after he changes into nice and giving Ebenezer on Christmas morning. A flip-flopping damn liberal that's what!
Santa Claus.......Democrat. Okay, I get it. He is a giving guy, no matter if you are poor or not. But he does run a monopoly type business. And I don't know how much he is paying those elves but I get the sense that it's next to nothing. At least he isn't outsourcing work overseas...or is he? I called the 1-800 Santa customer service center the other day and I got an "elf" that called himself "Steve" but had a real think Indian accent.
The Grinch......Republican. This just shows how two-party-happy we are. It's so obvious he is a Libertarian. He's got that "Everybody do what they want but be quiet about it and just leave me the fuck alone!" thing down.
*Check out the full details of the poll here.
12/02/2004
SOMEBODY GIVE ME A RIDE TO AA!
This is a message that was on my machine last weekend. Keep in mind I don't know this person or George and my number is stated on my out going message:
1:00 a.m.(Slurring)
"Georgie, it's Cheryl. Give me a call back at the number you see across your phone or just come pick me up....or just come down or do something god-dammit....now...bye."
Okay, so 'Cheryl' is drunk, needs a ride home from George and called the wrong number; no big deal right?
THIS IS LIKE THE FIFTEENTH TIME SHE HAS CALLED MY HOUSE FOR GEORGE, OVER MANY MONTHS.
It's always late and she is always looking for George and she always sounds drunk. The times I've talked to her, I just say you have the wrong number. At first I didn't think she had the wrong number. I just thought this George guy met Cheryl at a bar and gave my number to her as a fake. But now I just think George's number is really close to mine and Cheryl's drunk ass can't dial correctly.
The best calls are when she has called earlier asking for a ride and then calls back at 4:00 a.m. pissed off at George because he hasn't shown up. Poor old George doesn't even know she has called. I just wonder what she says to George the next day, "Hey ass-hole, why didn't you pick me up last night?" George says "I didn't get any calls last night." Cheryl replies "Bullshit, you were screening last night."
I figure this Georgie guy must be her brother because I don't know any guy who would be letting his girlfriend go drinking without him, every weekend, and then come pick her stumbling booze hound ass up.
Maybe one night, I'll pick up the phone and pretend I'm George, ask where she is at, and come pick her up.
I'll bet George would really appreciate it. And Cheryl will have a story to tell when she enters AA.
1:00 a.m.(Slurring)
"Georgie, it's Cheryl. Give me a call back at the number you see across your phone or just come pick me up....or just come down or do something god-dammit....now...bye."
Okay, so 'Cheryl' is drunk, needs a ride home from George and called the wrong number; no big deal right?
THIS IS LIKE THE FIFTEENTH TIME SHE HAS CALLED MY HOUSE FOR GEORGE, OVER MANY MONTHS.
It's always late and she is always looking for George and she always sounds drunk. The times I've talked to her, I just say you have the wrong number. At first I didn't think she had the wrong number. I just thought this George guy met Cheryl at a bar and gave my number to her as a fake. But now I just think George's number is really close to mine and Cheryl's drunk ass can't dial correctly.
The best calls are when she has called earlier asking for a ride and then calls back at 4:00 a.m. pissed off at George because he hasn't shown up. Poor old George doesn't even know she has called. I just wonder what she says to George the next day, "Hey ass-hole, why didn't you pick me up last night?" George says "I didn't get any calls last night." Cheryl replies "Bullshit, you were screening last night."
I figure this Georgie guy must be her brother because I don't know any guy who would be letting his girlfriend go drinking without him, every weekend, and then come pick her stumbling booze hound ass up.
Maybe one night, I'll pick up the phone and pretend I'm George, ask where she is at, and come pick her up.
I'll bet George would really appreciate it. And Cheryl will have a story to tell when she enters AA.
11/26/2004
FASTBALLS ARE FASCIST
I first thought about fascism when I saw the movie "Bull Durham". Crash Davis said that fastballs are "Boring and besides that they're fascist." I wasn't absolutely sure what fascism was, I just thought it had something to do with politics and telling everybody 'This is how it is, you have no choice in the matter.'
Now, you would think I learned about fascism in high school or something but I was to preoccupied with worrying that, at any moment, I might have to get up in front of the class while I still had a boner.
So with all of my worry over 'random wood', I think I missed the fascism lesson. So now I have found --thanks to Trent (still somehow single ladies). Email me and I will send you his picture-- a great piece on how we (America) have become a fascist country. No matter what your political view, read it with an open mind by clicking HERE!
Did you read it? No? Ahhh, come on, you can't look at porn 24/7. Take just a minute and learn something. Okay, if you read the fascism PDF, you can take a look at these two hot porn stars here!
Now, you would think I learned about fascism in high school or something but I was to preoccupied with worrying that, at any moment, I might have to get up in front of the class while I still had a boner.
So with all of my worry over 'random wood', I think I missed the fascism lesson. So now I have found --thanks to Trent (still somehow single ladies). Email me and I will send you his picture-- a great piece on how we (America) have become a fascist country. No matter what your political view, read it with an open mind by clicking HERE!
Did you read it? No? Ahhh, come on, you can't look at porn 24/7. Take just a minute and learn something. Okay, if you read the fascism PDF, you can take a look at these two hot porn stars here!
11/18/2004
AUDIBLE FLUX TALKS TO HOWARD STERN
Well, I kinda talked to Howard. But as it turns out, I am one of the last.
Being the geek that I am, I go on a few web-site message boards. My favorites are http://www.viewaskew.com (Kevin Smith's) and http://www.howardstern.com . Every once in a while, Howard and Kevin will go on the boards and answer some stuff and talk to people.
The other night Howard got online (the message board's front page will tell you who is online) at the same time I was. He was on-line to check if people had questions for him to address, during his Letterman appearance, about his move to satellite radio.
I quickly wrote something out that I was wondering about and that I thought he would answer. And to my amazement, he replied to my message. Here it is: (I'm wifflefresno...duh)
Howard Stern
The Howard Stern Show
Reply Options
Yesterday, 5:16:53 PM
Quote
Originally Posted by wifflefresno
When you are on Letterman (if you aren't goin to already) lets us in on what your sirius channel will have. Will you keep replaying that day's show on the channel so you can hear it if you can't listen live?
GREAT SHOW HOWIE AND GOOD LUCK!
Howard Stern
I am developing the three channels...the channel I am on will repeat my show (not sure how many times) and have other original programming...I am so anxious to get it all going.. it is so the future...I have Sirius on in my apartment 24/7 and the thing fucking rocks...lots of great stuff...cool listening to the jet game and watching the scores roll across...that technology will be put to good use...
The King Of All Media talking with the King Of All Geeks. What a country...a dorky, sick, perverted, run by Christian families country, but a country none the less.
UPDATE:
Howard's board has now been shut off. If you have ever been on there, you can kinda see why (some poster's got pretty twisted). But I think it might of got shut down because Howard just didn't want to deal with the shear volume of people on there.
Too many people on the website; I wish I had that problem...(sigh, tear).
Being the geek that I am, I go on a few web-site message boards. My favorites are http://www.viewaskew.com (Kevin Smith's) and http://www.howardstern.com . Every once in a while, Howard and Kevin will go on the boards and answer some stuff and talk to people.
The other night Howard got online (the message board's front page will tell you who is online) at the same time I was. He was on-line to check if people had questions for him to address, during his Letterman appearance, about his move to satellite radio.
I quickly wrote something out that I was wondering about and that I thought he would answer. And to my amazement, he replied to my message. Here it is: (I'm wifflefresno...duh)
Howard Stern
The Howard Stern Show
Reply Options
Yesterday, 5:16:53 PM
Quote
Originally Posted by wifflefresno
When you are on Letterman (if you aren't goin to already) lets us in on what your sirius channel will have. Will you keep replaying that day's show on the channel so you can hear it if you can't listen live?
GREAT SHOW HOWIE AND GOOD LUCK!
Howard Stern
I am developing the three channels...the channel I am on will repeat my show (not sure how many times) and have other original programming...I am so anxious to get it all going.. it is so the future...I have Sirius on in my apartment 24/7 and the thing fucking rocks...lots of great stuff...cool listening to the jet game and watching the scores roll across...that technology will be put to good use...
The King Of All Media talking with the King Of All Geeks. What a country...a dorky, sick, perverted, run by Christian families country, but a country none the less.
UPDATE:
Howard's board has now been shut off. If you have ever been on there, you can kinda see why (some poster's got pretty twisted). But I think it might of got shut down because Howard just didn't want to deal with the shear volume of people on there.
Too many people on the website; I wish I had that problem...(sigh, tear).
11/16/2004
METAL AND MOSH, LIKE P. B. AND JELLY
A mosh pit can be a beautiful thing; whether you are in it or not.
I was recently at a KORN/CHEVELLE concert. It was a general admission show which is increasingly rare nowadays, given all the mayhem, injuries and even death they can cause.
If you are at a G.A. show and the band is at all hard rock or metal, a pit or two will always break out. When I was in my concert going hey-day, pits were a big thing. I always thought that pits would kinda be a passing concert fad. But Fresno Korn/Chevelle fans showed me that pits are alive and well.
I went to the concert with my friend Aaron. We are too old to be getting in pits anymore. But due to our late arrival to the show (pre-concert drinking) they wouldn't let us down on the floor anyway. I guess our old 90's concert reps preceded us.
With the floor being too full, we were forced to the second level on the side of the stage. Terrible spot to hear the show but it's a great vantage point for watching the crowd.
Mosh pits had already been happening prior to Korn, but once the boys hit the stage--it was on! The crowd was immediately at fever pitch. Several 'pits' were in full swing and the rest of the crowd was in full metal moshing mode.
It really is an amazing sight. A flood of people, looking like ants after their nest has been disrupted. It made me long for being in the mosh pit.
You may think that mosh pits just consist of big dudes just looking to flatten people. And though there are a couple of those guys, most moshers are just looking to have a good time. There is even a etiquette in 'the pit'. Even when somebody gets knocked down, somebody else picks them up and nobody trys to step on them. And much of the time, a good hit is followed by hugs at the songs end.
Maybe one day, even in my older age and small stature, I'll try getting in a pit again. Just so I can feel, even for just a night, like a young, beautiful, ant-metal-head at fever pitch.
I was recently at a KORN/CHEVELLE concert. It was a general admission show which is increasingly rare nowadays, given all the mayhem, injuries and even death they can cause.
If you are at a G.A. show and the band is at all hard rock or metal, a pit or two will always break out. When I was in my concert going hey-day, pits were a big thing. I always thought that pits would kinda be a passing concert fad. But Fresno Korn/Chevelle fans showed me that pits are alive and well.
I went to the concert with my friend Aaron. We are too old to be getting in pits anymore. But due to our late arrival to the show (pre-concert drinking) they wouldn't let us down on the floor anyway. I guess our old 90's concert reps preceded us.
With the floor being too full, we were forced to the second level on the side of the stage. Terrible spot to hear the show but it's a great vantage point for watching the crowd.
Mosh pits had already been happening prior to Korn, but once the boys hit the stage--it was on! The crowd was immediately at fever pitch. Several 'pits' were in full swing and the rest of the crowd was in full metal moshing mode.
It really is an amazing sight. A flood of people, looking like ants after their nest has been disrupted. It made me long for being in the mosh pit.
You may think that mosh pits just consist of big dudes just looking to flatten people. And though there are a couple of those guys, most moshers are just looking to have a good time. There is even a etiquette in 'the pit'. Even when somebody gets knocked down, somebody else picks them up and nobody trys to step on them. And much of the time, a good hit is followed by hugs at the songs end.
Maybe one day, even in my older age and small stature, I'll try getting in a pit again. Just so I can feel, even for just a night, like a young, beautiful, ant-metal-head at fever pitch.
11/14/2004
VADER LIVES!
When you are a 'geek', 'fanboy', 'madchild' like myself, you worry about different things than most people.
When I first learned that George Lucas was going to film the first three movies of the Star Wars series, or the "prequels", this is what I worried about; Is James Earl Jones (voice of Darth Vader)going to live long enough to make it to the last movie, where his voice will be needed?
I didn't think about if his family will miss him or that the acting community will be losing a great talent, I thought; "That would really FUCK UP Star Wars III (now titled "Revenge Of The Sith")." Well I no longer have to worry because James Earl is still around and 'Revenge' is "in the can".
"Revenge of the Sith" will feature how Anikian Skywalker "dies" and resurrects himself as Darth Vader. I have been waiting to see this ever since Luke was told --a long time ago in a galaxy far far away -- that Vader "killed" his father.
Below is a link to the latest trailer for Episode III. If you are a Star Wars fan and this trailer doesn't get friggin hyped as hell, well then aaahh, I guess you are not a Star Wars fan.
PUNCH IT CHEWIE
Give it a few to download and then come back and tell me what you think in the comments.
When I first learned that George Lucas was going to film the first three movies of the Star Wars series, or the "prequels", this is what I worried about; Is James Earl Jones (voice of Darth Vader)going to live long enough to make it to the last movie, where his voice will be needed?
I didn't think about if his family will miss him or that the acting community will be losing a great talent, I thought; "That would really FUCK UP Star Wars III (now titled "Revenge Of The Sith")." Well I no longer have to worry because James Earl is still around and 'Revenge' is "in the can".
"Revenge of the Sith" will feature how Anikian Skywalker "dies" and resurrects himself as Darth Vader. I have been waiting to see this ever since Luke was told --a long time ago in a galaxy far far away -- that Vader "killed" his father.
Below is a link to the latest trailer for Episode III. If you are a Star Wars fan and this trailer doesn't get friggin hyped as hell, well then aaahh, I guess you are not a Star Wars fan.
PUNCH IT CHEWIE
Give it a few to download and then come back and tell me what you think in the comments.
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